Re-balancing and unblocking

Three changes I've made to boost my impact and wellbeing this year

Hello everyone,

After a brief hiatus I’m excited to be back here writing for you. For those who’ve been reading for a while, please check out my new About page which explains what I’m building here on Substack. A very warm welcome to the 100 or so people who’ve subscribed since I last wrote! Could you introduce yourself here? With subscribers based in 62 countries leading systemic change in human rights, venture capital, climate and sustainability, education, psychotherapy, healthcare, media, politics, art, farming, finance, housing, philanthropy and more, this is a diverse community packed with opportunities to collaborate. I reply to every comment, let’s get to know each other 🧡

At the beginning of the year I started a series of posts on how my work is evolving. I wrote about a “growth spurt behind the scenes” and “having a much better idea of what my readers and clients want and how to provide it in different ways”. After a few years of transition I was eager to deliver, but by mid-Feb I was lost in doing mode and slipped into some unhealthy habits. I was confident about where I was going - the ideas are strong, I’m a good person for the job, the feedback is great - but I was feeling overwhelmed, anxious and lacking the creative power and flow that brings my best work to life. Something was missing.

I returned to the intention I’d set for the year, “A year of taking action on what I want and making things happen” and quickly realised that my work-related wants had taken over and I was neglecting other parts of my life. I’ve worked hard on this pattern in recent years, but it’s been another thing entirely to fully embody and practice a consistently healthy relationship with work and achievement. Instead of resisting the signals and ploughing on, I made some changes.

At the heart of my coaching methodology for system changers is a belief in the importance of wellbeing. Yes, we live in troubling times and there’s urgent work to be done, but over-obsession with work and impact is toxic for change-makers and change-making. Looking after ourselves is a worthy goal in it’s own right, and my work with people leading systemic change teaches me that it’s essential to creating healthy, lasting change in the world. Wellbeing is such a powerful catalyst for the bold, creative work we need to build a better future. I help my clients to re-balance and unblock all the time, so this was a great opportunity for me to walk the walk. Below I share three changes I made to get back on track.

I’ve been busy behind the scenes (I got my flow back 💪) and can’t wait to share more support and inspiration with you soon.

I love being on the transition team with you, thank you for being here!

Gen

---

Lowering my expectations of myself

In January I engaged a new coach to help me grow my business. As we went through all my goals and reviewed what I was working on, she challenged me on a mismatch she saw, “do you think it’s possible to achieve all of this at the same time, given that you also want space for everything else that’s important to you in life?” She was right, and encouraged me to think about my work and life in seasons instead. I could still do everything I wanted to do, but not at the same time. I took this away and mapped out the rest of my life in seasons. By zooming out I could see that I have three five-year seasons before I’m 50 and, all being well, I doubt I’ll want to stop working at that age. Joanna Macy is 95 and she’s still going! I listed all the hypothetical things I could be doing during these seasons and realised I have plenty of time to sloww dowwn.

I worked on the positioning for my Substack and then gave myself permission to step away from writing for a while to focus on coaching. I stopped taking on new coaching clients and instead dedicated some time to the foundations of my practice. I analysed all the coaching I’ve done so far and re-worked my methodology. I prioritised my work with existing clients, and shelved everything else.

Leaning into community

I filled lots of the space I created with joy and connection. I planned the first big birthday party I’ve had in years. My husband Khilen and I hosted 30 friends in a wine bar in Lisbon and we had such a great time that we forgot to take any photos. The blurry one below is a screenshot of a video, thanks Joana! I attended a Flourishing Futures Salon with 11 wonderful strangers. Host Nathalie Nahai weaved together the most beautiful conversation, her goal being to offer a space of refuge and reconnection to playfully explore hopes, fears and aspirations. It was magical and life affirming. Nathalie and I plan to co-host one in Lisbon later this summer.

Along with some friends, Khilen and I attended ‘Between the Two of Us’ in Tangier, a gathering hosted by House of Beautiful Business. We decided to do something a little different for our wedding anniversary which fell on the last night of the trip, and co-hosted a Feast of Awe for some friends with fellow Substacker

Laura Francois

. Tucked away in a corner of the most beautiful garden, we shared stories and experiences of awe, reflected on who we are and who we’re becoming, and expressed our hopes for the future. In his welcome speech to ‘Between the Two of Us’, my favourite speaker of the weekend Bayo Akomolafe invited us to “leave Tangier not with a confident gait, but a limp. Cracked open enough for the new to emerge.” I wasn’t limping, but my heart was cracked open by many opportunities to connect deeply in person on the really big questions in life. I left with immense gratitude and a deep knowing that I need more of this, that all of us do.

Realising how much I was enjoying more social time, I decided to enrol in the Climate Change Coaching Mastery course with Climate Change Coaches. I’m really enjoying being in a learning environment again, and it’s been so energising to discover a whole new community of talented, passionate coaches working on the human behaviour challenges at the heart of the climate crisis.

I also wanted to have a stronger sense of community at home in my local area, and to feel connected to the system-changing people and initiatives on my doorstep. So together with two local friends Joana and Briony, I started Impact People a sul do Tejo, a community of people living south of the river in Lisbon who want to collaborate on local wellbeing and environmental projects. We’ve had two gatherings so far, and next week we have our first group trip to see Regen Waves, a non-profit teaching regeneration principles and methods at their Lab Forest in Arrábida. Khilen is now hosting a weekly meditation class for the group and we meet at Joana’s Quinta dos Flamingos, a beautiful guesthouse and co-work space that she and her partner Joe have lovingly restored over the past few years. It’s pretty special to be building the local community of our dreams together.

Taking better care of myself

The stress of the last few years moving country, changing careers, living through a pandemic and a messy renovation have taken a toll on my body, and I’m not in my bounce-back 20s anymore! The biggest shift I’ve made since my wobble in February was to bump my health-related goals to the top of my priorities. I’m currently travelling to Lisbon twice a week to work with a specialist physio on a persisting problem. I’ve seen a functional medicine doctor, done a full blood panel and started correcting things like low vitamin D and increasing the amount of protein I’m eating. I’ve started meditating again. Looking after ourselves is a lot of work, right? All of this stuff seems so obvious that perhaps it isn’t worth saying, but if you needed a nudge to book that dentist appointment or get your boobs checked, this is it! Our bodies need us to take care of them.

---

System Changers is for people who are interested in creating transformational change in the world. It’s for the growing movement of brave souls who see the broken systems behind the symptoms and have decided to do something about them. I write about your power, how you’re creating change, and how your personal growth and transformation play an integral role in the impact you make. Together we’ll explore how the path to creating great change starts within. Learn more about my coaching practice here.