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January is a time of big ambitions good intentions. All my feeds are packed with high energy content on new beginnings, articles promising the most impactful goal setting techniques, and the latest science-backed advice on productivity.
I’m not knocking this, I learned to love a SMART goal during my time in tech and VC. The start of a new year is a great time to capitalise on the clean slate feeling and plan ahead, and goal setting can be incredibly powerful when done well. But I wonder how many of us are pairing this goal setting with self-compassion and support, especially when it comes to holding ourselves accountable? Are we as kind to ourselves when things go wrong as we are jubilant when they go well?
After a few years of taking things more slowly, I’ve shifted gears for 2024 and written a 3-page plan on what I’d like to achieve this year, including specific deliverables and timeframes. It’s got little checkboxes in it and I’ve printed it off and stuck it on the wall behind my computer so I can tick things off as I go. I’ve caught myself a couple of times to make sure I’m not slipping back into bad habits (unrealistic expectations and perfectionism). I want to build an ambitious business in a healthy way, something I’ve sometimes struggled with.
Let’s use this thread to have a conversation about self compassion and how we might support ourselves as we embark on our goals for the year ahead, to carve out some space for softness amongst the gantt charts!
Here are a couple of questions and thought starters. Use the comment box below to reflect on either or both, or contribute anything else that comes up for you when thinking about goal setting, accountability and self compassion.
I’m really interested to hear your thoughts, I’ll kick us off 🧡
What’s your relationship with goal setting?Are you an OKR geek who gets a kick out of this stuff? Do you hate and avoid it at all costs? How do you hold yourself accountable, and what’s that like for you? How does (or how could) goal setting support your work as a system changer?
How could self-compassion support your goal setting this year?Perhaps it’s in the goal setting itself, or how you hold yourself accountable? What would it look like to boost your self-compassion in this area of your life?
I quite like goal setting. I find the process of breaking big outcomes down into smaller steps and slotting them into a calendar quite satisfying. That said, I’ve got quite carried away in the past. Before I left London my work days were planned in 30 minute slots from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to bed. Most of my activities during the day laddered up to my big (work) goals for the quarter. I was getting a lot done, but it was making me unwell. The most important task of my career break was re-wiring my relationship with achievement - exploring where it had come from, how it was shaping my choices, and how big a part of my identity it had become. I had to broaden my goals to include things like rest, investing in my relationships and being creative.
One of the most helpful tools I’ve come across is Compassion Focused Therapy and a book called ‘The Compassionate Mind Approach to Building Your Self-Confidence Using Compassion focused Therapy’ by Dr Mary Welford. When I took a step back from my goal setting this year I realised I needed to revisit this toolkit. As I ramp up my ambition and work this year I know I’ll be putting new mindsets and skills to the test for the first time and this makes me a little nervous! To boost my self-compassion I’m going to include a specific reflection on this theme in my monthly and quarterly reviews, and raise the topic with my coaching buddy Flora.
I dislike pressure and restriction around goalsetting, discipline for me comes from passion alone so it's not something I can impose. This year I have an intention, a word I'm holding and bringing to decisions... The word is "intentional", what will being intentional look like as I take the next steps this year. It starts with making decisions based on intuition and what my body is telling me, which then aligns with values and goals more broadly I hope. :)
For me, new year is about new processes, not new goals. Daily yoga practise + no alcohol for jan, then see where we go from there. I am coupling this with openness to follow what I want to make, and how I want to explore the world productively/creatively, outside of my job. I can tend to jump to a clear goal too quickly.. the first half of 2024 is me giving myself space to explore before I feel ready for a more focused period once more.
A last point to add, I find it valuable to break goals down by quarter or even month so they are more tangible and achievable instead of the typical annual goals that we write once and then forget about, as research indicates
Thank you for initiating exchange on this topic Genevieve - find it so valuable to hear how others approach the new year.
In my tech job, my role is to help executives set goals. And with that empower teams to transform the way they collaborate. I love my role and the companies I work with.
I am definitely a mindful productivity geek as well as using tech to feel better as a human.
As a person though, I don’t set goals in January anymore, it’s overwhelming for me this time of the year.
I have a different approach honouring the deep winter we’re still in - here in Europe - and how I’m craving slowness.
It’s like deciding I had a different fiscal year start than the calendar year and with that start my annual OKRs at a different time.
I wrote about this approach here - 4 simple ways to start the year stress free and how we’ve been fooled, the year doesn’t actually start in January 🙃
For goal setting in itself I decide between actionable and intentions. Some things I know I can achieve and others that are more principles I want to live by that I will reflect on in a less structured way.
I quite like goal setting. I find the process of breaking big outcomes down into smaller steps and slotting them into a calendar quite satisfying. That said, I’ve got quite carried away in the past. Before I left London my work days were planned in 30 minute slots from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to bed. Most of my activities during the day laddered up to my big (work) goals for the quarter. I was getting a lot done, but it was making me unwell. The most important task of my career break was re-wiring my relationship with achievement - exploring where it had come from, how it was shaping my choices, and how big a part of my identity it had become. I had to broaden my goals to include things like rest, investing in my relationships and being creative.
One of the most helpful tools I’ve come across is Compassion Focused Therapy and a book called ‘The Compassionate Mind Approach to Building Your Self-Confidence Using Compassion focused Therapy’ by Dr Mary Welford. When I took a step back from my goal setting this year I realised I needed to revisit this toolkit. As I ramp up my ambition and work this year I know I’ll be putting new mindsets and skills to the test for the first time and this makes me a little nervous! To boost my self-compassion I’m going to include a specific reflection on this theme in my monthly and quarterly reviews, and raise the topic with my coaching buddy Flora.
https://www.hachette.co.uk/titles/mary-welford/the-compassionate-mind-approach-to-building-self-confidence/9781780331331/
I dislike pressure and restriction around goalsetting, discipline for me comes from passion alone so it's not something I can impose. This year I have an intention, a word I'm holding and bringing to decisions... The word is "intentional", what will being intentional look like as I take the next steps this year. It starts with making decisions based on intuition and what my body is telling me, which then aligns with values and goals more broadly I hope. :)
For me, new year is about new processes, not new goals. Daily yoga practise + no alcohol for jan, then see where we go from there. I am coupling this with openness to follow what I want to make, and how I want to explore the world productively/creatively, outside of my job. I can tend to jump to a clear goal too quickly.. the first half of 2024 is me giving myself space to explore before I feel ready for a more focused period once more.
A last point to add, I find it valuable to break goals down by quarter or even month so they are more tangible and achievable instead of the typical annual goals that we write once and then forget about, as research indicates
Thank you for initiating exchange on this topic Genevieve - find it so valuable to hear how others approach the new year.
In my tech job, my role is to help executives set goals. And with that empower teams to transform the way they collaborate. I love my role and the companies I work with.
I am definitely a mindful productivity geek as well as using tech to feel better as a human.
As a person though, I don’t set goals in January anymore, it’s overwhelming for me this time of the year.
I have a different approach honouring the deep winter we’re still in - here in Europe - and how I’m craving slowness.
It’s like deciding I had a different fiscal year start than the calendar year and with that start my annual OKRs at a different time.
I wrote about this approach here - 4 simple ways to start the year stress free and how we’ve been fooled, the year doesn’t actually start in January 🙃
https://carmens.substack.com/p/4-simple-ways-to-start-2024-stress
For goal setting in itself I decide between actionable and intentions. Some things I know I can achieve and others that are more principles I want to live by that I will reflect on in a less structured way.