Beware the Story of Separation

Part two - my biggest lesson from this work so far

This is the second piece in a series on how my work with system changers is evolving. The first piece takes you back to the beginning, to a moment in time when the world seemed to be falling apart and experiencing a crisis of leadership, and what I chose to do about it. If you missed it, check out Part One.

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A few years ago, when I pivoted my career to coach and write about people who lead systemic change, I enjoyed the parallels I could see between people leading positive change in the world and leading it in themselves, in contributing to paradigm shifts outside of themselves and experiencing deep personal transformation at the same time. It was a relationship that fascinated and inspired me; the more I explored it, the more questions I had. How did these parallel shifts connect? Could this be an opportunity to do more impactful work?

My first tagline was “evolve yourself as well as the systems around you,” which I wince at now, but what’s that if not a sign of growth?! Since then I’ve spent a lot of time observing and learning about how change happens at different scales. I learned early on that personal growth and wider systemic change are not just concurrent as my original tagline might imply. Our growth and change is bound up with the growth and change in the systems around us. We shape them and they shape us. As NPC’s Spheres of Systems Change Model states below, “changes dynamically interact across spheres”. As journalist, author and entrepreneur Krista Tippet said in ‘Christiana Figueres - Ecological Hope and Spiritual Evolution’, a recent episode of her podcast On Being, “the different levels of transformation must go hand in hand. Systemic transformation, personal transformation, we don’t get one without the other.”

Spheres of Systems Change Model by NPC

This has big implications for how we support people working to create systemic change. My work focuses specifically on supporting individuals, helping them to understand and use their power to create positive change in the world, but our work together would be severely limited by a purely individualistic approach. Instead, I support people with a systems lens and our work is shaped by narratives and methods that emphasise interconnectedness and interdependence.

Here’s some helpful insight from a brilliant piece by

Laura Francois

, “collectivist cultures better grasp the interconnected nature of systems, including human systems. Their values of interdependence, patterns over facts, and holistic thinking better enable transformational change. Interdependence appreciates the worth of each individual, yet also sees the enhanced value that comes when they work together in an integrated, collaborative way. The whole becomes greater than the sum of the parts.”

None of this will be new to you if you’re well-versed in systems thinking, but it’s quite counter-cultural for the vast majority of people. Unfortunately, particularly in the West, modern life is shaped by the "Story of Separation", a concept that encompasses various narratives and frameworks viewing reality, society, nature and the individual as fundamentally disconnected or separate entities. It’s origins can be traced to various historical, philosophical, and cultural developments such as the Enlightenment period in Europe in the 17th to 19th centuries, the Scientific Revolution of the 16th and 17th centuries, the rise of industrialisation and capitalism in the 18th and 19th centuries, Western dualistic thought and philosophy, European colonialism and expansionism, and technological advancements of the modern era. The Story of Separation underpins many of the big, systemic problems of our time, the most obvious perhaps being the climate crisis, fuelled by anthropocentrism and the exploitation of the environment for human gain.

This story can also be seen in all too common egoic missions to “save the world”. Sometimes this is overt, as with a handful of famous leaders we could all name, but it’s so pervasive that it can also be found in more subtle, perhaps even subconscious, forms in change-makers and their initiatives. Perceived separation between the change-makers, other people and social groups, and the systems they’re trying to change (assuming positive intent and change for the better) will always prevent true systemic change, and can cause more harm than good.

Attempts to contribute towards systemic change will only be successful if we see ourselves, our behaviour and our growth as part of the solution. Becoming aware of the Story of Separation and how it manifests in change-making, and embracing instead the truth of interconnection and interdependence would be a great place to start. This would also make a powerful ongoing practice. We should be grateful for and take inspiration from indigenous and collectivist cultures for whom this is the norm - more on that another time.

Good questions to ask ourselves:

• How has the Story of Separation shown up in my life so far?

• How does the Story of Separation show up in my team, organisation, field?

• In what ways might I be perpetuating the Story of Separation?

• How can I help to tell the story of interconnection and interdependence?

• How could I change and align my behaviour with this story?

• In what ways does my behaviour and growth contribute to wider spheres of systems change?

How beautiful it is, and how lucky we are, to grow and evolve in relationship with the world around us! How exciting that we have such agency to shape a better future. It’s so important that we use it wisely.

Our task is to work out what our role as individuals really is in the wider systems we want to change, and what we can do to understand and use our power effectively to make our best possible contribution. This is the work I help people to do as a coach. I’ll share more on how I’m thinking about this and what I’m building in the next piece in this series.

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Resources

I barely scratch the surface of some big topics here, so I want to leave you with a variety of resources for further exploration and some quotes from brilliant minds working in this space. Please share additional resources you recommend in the comments!

‘World as Lover, World as Self’, by Joanna Macy

Iain McGilchrist and his RSA Animate: The Divided Brain

‘Thinking in Systems’, by Donella Meadows

‘Braiding Sweetgrass’, by Robin Wall Kimmerer

The Mycelium

from fellow Substacker

Tijn Tjoelker

‘In Love with the World’, by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche

‘Our Story of Nature: From Rupture to Reconnection’, a short series from podcast Outrage and Optimism

‘Uncertainty and Possibility -Meeting the Climate Future’, featuring Roshi Joan Halifax, Rebecca Solnit Christiana Figueres. Condensed podcast version here.

Moral Imaginations

from fellow Substacker

Phoebe Tickell

‘The Way Out Is In’, the podcast from Plum Village

‘The way out (of this crisis) is in - Jo Confino’, from podcast Impact Journey

‘The Psychological Drivers of the Metacrisis: John Vervaeke Iain McGilchrist Daniel Schmachtenberger’, from The Consilience Project

‘It’s not you. It’s Us’, from fellow Substacker

Laura Francois

‘2023 In Eight Points: Meditating On Our Planetary Moment’, by Otto Scharmer

‘Christiana Figueres - Ecological Hope, and Spiritual Evolution’, from podcast On Being

‘Systems Practice Toolkit’, from NPC

‘Awakening from the Meaning Crisis’, by John Vervaeke

Stories For Life Chapter 3 The Story of Separation

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Great quotes

“Our talent for division, for seeing the parts, is of staggering importance – second only to our capacity to transcend it, in order to see the whole.” - Iain McGilchrist

“The key to moving beyond our old patterns of actions lies in transforming our conversations from conforming and confronting to connecting and co-creating by shifting the inner place from where our conversation and listening originate: from inside the boundary of our own system to outside of it, that means stepping out of our preconceived ideas and listening from the perspective of others and from the social field as a whole.” - Otto Scharmer

“We build the road and the road builds us.” - Sarvodaya movement in Sri Lanka

“If you have come here to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together.” Aboriginal activists group, Queensland, 1970s

“People everywhere try so hard to make the world better. Their intentions are admirable, yet they seek to change everything but themselves. To make yourself a better person is to make the world a better place. Who develops industries that fill the air and water with toxic waste? How did we humans become immune to the plight of refugees, or hardened to the suffering of animals raised to be slaughtered? Until we transform ourselves, we are like mobs of angry people screaming for peace. In order to move the world, we must be able to stand still in it. Now more than ever, I place my faith in Gandhi’s approach: Be the change you wish to see in the world. Nothing is more essential for the twenty-first century and beyond than personal transformation. It’s our only hope. Transforming ourselves is transforming the world.” ‘In love with the world’, by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche

“We talk a lot about the polycrisis and many feel we are facing an existential crisis. My question to you: what if this existential crisis is actually inviting us to an existential catharsis where we accelerate our understanding of the fact that we are an integral part of the web of life? What if we shake off those human constructs that are so foreign to the way the rest of nature operates? We've adopted them for centuries but maybe we're realising now that they are like a jacket that doesn't really fit. What if we say, hang on a minute, this is not my jacket. What if we just shake all of that off and ask ourselves what the real human condition is? What is humanity's real role here? Maybe it's completely different to what we've been told, to what we've grown up believing. Maybe it's a role of collaboration, belonging and caretaking rather than of competition, domination and extraction.” - Christiana Figueres

“How can there be anything wrong with trying to do good? The answer may be: when the good is an accomplice to even greater, if more invisible, harm.” -

Anand Giridharadas

“This moment in history could be the moment when we flick the switch to change tracks—a moment when those with the privilege and agency to do so decide that we’re going to create a new story for today: a story of possibility, opportunity, hope, empathy, and connection. A story that includes everyone. A story in which now is a turning point.” - Tom Rivett-Carnac

“When was the last time you audited the stories you hold about our world? What might change if we made ourselves available to the hopeful song that wants to sing itself through us?” - Riwa Harfoush

“Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” - Rumi